Depression

The one thing people are afraid to admit they have DEPRESSION . Well im not . I have suffered with depression, anxiety and insomnia my whole life . I’ve always been the worrier of my family , even as a kid ! No one tells you how bad it gets as an adult or the problems your going to face alone. Some days I can’t even get out of bed and they’re other days where I feel like taking a whole bottle of medication.. then i have to step back and think about my kids and who would take my dog ! My life isn’t easy .. I’ve lost my job , a single parent of two boys ( one in college ) and German Shepherd who saves me everyday from myself .. I have no money coming in , I have no one and I’m lost and alone . I honestly have no one . Writing has become a way to relieve all I’m going through , more like a journal then a blog or maybe in my head I think it could help someone else . But it sorta helps me ! I have no friends / no family that I can call on and the one guy I have always loved for 11 years told me this morning he is with someone else . So that did it for me today . I got up , took my 3 steps , ran 3 miles and just came home and cried my eyes out . I don’t know what my purpose is anymore in this life and I’m starting to lose all hope and faith in myself . I just wish one person would hug me and say it’s going to be alright and make sure I get back on the right track ! I don’t know who I am anymore . I don’t remember in the last few years of being happy . I put on a smile then come home and cry . I’ve really lost all site of who I am .

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